Deeper Learning

  I wore the device for 14 days and nights from February 11 to February 25.  I took it off when I upset my Mistress with an attitude.  She threw the keys at me saying she did not want this if it was going to be a game.  I tried explaining that this lifestyle was no a game, but she would hear none of it.  It was several days later until she agreed to accept the keys warning me that this was no game.  If we continued down this path, then it had to be a real lifestyle change.  I promised her that it was a real change in our relationship, no games.
  I have been wearing the device now for a 2 days since March 1.  The first time I wore the device for 14 days it left me very scratched and sore.  It was a soreness as if I had masterbated too many times in one night.  Between the scratches and soreness, it has been easy for me to keep myself not excited this time.  I have experienced moments of arousal but without me getting hard.  Last night as i was surfing the internet and playing with my nipples, I felt the arousal all over and inside me.  Not wanting to suffer from the discomfort of the device, i managed to not get hard but still get excited.  Its an amazing and much deeper feeling.

My Mistress

  My Mistress is my entire world.  She is my Wife, my Mistress, my Key-holder, my Trainer, my Disciplinarian, my Lover and my Friend.  She is all of these things at the same time.  She understands me better than anyone and she shows her love at all times.  She supports me and leads me as I become a better person, a happier person.  I know that I will never become a woman.  That is not my goal, that is not my desire.  Instead, I am discovering the feminine and submissive aspect of my personality and developing that side of me to its fullest.  I am embracing the colors of pink and purple.  I am enjoying the prettiness of make-up, soft lingerie and high heels.  I am finding pleasure out of being submissive, feminine, pretty and soft.  I embrace the idea of being her sissy husband and her bitch with everything that those titles mean for both of us.  On my journey, I discovered the myths and misconceptions between the idea of a real man and a real woman.  We are all shades of femininity and masculinity.  

   I have learned much about physical pleasure too.  My dick is only one limited instrument of pleasure, the entire body is a much stronger and more intense pleasure instrument.  Sex is 90% mental and only 10% physical.  A woman's pussy and a man's dick are both just tools that sometimes can just be played with for fun.  I can get physical pleasure from both of those tools, sex can just be sex sometimes.  Only my Mistress gives me that deep mental and spiritual connection.  She has held my hand during all of these discoveries and I love her so completely.  I can not thank her enough for being so wonderful.

 

Toy Shopping

  Mistress took me toy shopping Saturday night.  We went to a new place for us that is local.  We found some great items there.  It was lots of fun shopping, I can't wait to play with the new toys.  Lets see, we got her a device to spank me that will leave the word "Love" on my ass.  She found a few anal toys for me too.  One of them was a vibrating rod shaped like beads in pink.  The other anal toy was shaped like a real cock.  She really liked that one because it had the right shape including veins in it.  She said it would be a great toy for me to train on until i got the real thing in my ass.  We also picked up 3 femdom movies.  We don't know too much about the movies but one of them had won lots of AVN awards and all of them had exciting photos of men submitting to women.  The last thing we bought was a 3 pack of Playgirl magazines.  She commented that the magazines were more for me than for her.  I have a feeling the only porn I will be allowed to see from now on will be naked men.  She is going through a lot of effort into turning me more and more into a sissy husband and i could not be happier.

Punishment

   Mistress Stephaine was quite upset.  Thursday night I came home from work, ate dinner then played on my computer.  She had purposely written down several things to get done that night but I was lazy.  Friday night she decided I needed to be punished for my laziness and lack of discipline.  I completely understood and told her that I accepted my punishment, whatever it was.  She ordered me to get pretty and indicated i needed to use both the nipple clamps and butt plug.  I worn a sexy lingerie consisting of black fishnet stockings, black thongs over my chastity device, and a black and purple teddy with black high heels.  High heels were always a part of my outfits.  Of course I had inserted the butt plug and placed the nipple clamps on my very sensitive nipples.  After I was dressed, she ordered me to our walk-in closet where my hands were handcuffed behind my back, my mouth was gagged and my eyes were blindfolded.  At this point, I was feeling a bit helpless.  She attached some cords from my nipple clamps to the ceiling.  We had done this before for a wonderful predicament.  The nipple clamps forced me to stay on my feet in high heels.  The last time she had put me in this situation, she left me standing in heels for hours.  After hours, my body could no longer stand and i went down on my knees.  The pain from the yanking off of the nipple clamps was very intense.  The threat of it had prevented me from taking a knee earlier.  Now that i found myself in the same situation, i knew i had to stand for as long as possible.  I knew that the pain of standing in high heels for hours was much better than the pain of nipple clamps being yanked off and taking some skin with it.
  Mistress left me in this position as she went back to the bedroom and watch her movie.  Fortunately, she was already an hour into the movie The Notebook.  I could not hear it from the walk-in closet so I really had no sense of time.  Seconds turned into minutes and minutes into what seemed like hours.  I was able to move my feet a little to keep myself from cramping.  I knew I deserved this punishment and all i could do was suffer through it.  I hung my head and waited for my Mistress.  She returned only about an hour later and I was still on my feet.  I figured I could probably last 2-3 hours on my feet before having to take a knee and suffer the pain of the nipple clamps yanking off of me.  She released the nipple clamps and ordered me to get on my knees.  I followed her every order.  She then began to whip my undisciplined ass.  A few minutes later it was over, she released me from my handcuffs and ordered me to clean-up everything.  I followed her orders and ensured I thanked her for her discipline.  It is because she loves me that she disciplines me.
    

Different Loving

My Mistress reinvented sex for her sissy husband in a chastity device.  For the longest time, I thought sex was me getting my dick wet either in a woman's mouth or her sex.  Since I have worn this device, my Mistress has expanded my mind to understand that sex can be so much more.  In the past 9 days, we have had amazing sex without the use of my dick.  I have satisfied my Mistress exclusively with my tongue and fingers.  More surprising, she has satisfied me with amazing orgasmic experiences with her touch.  Touching my body, pinching my nipples and fucking my ass, my Mistress gave me these amazing body jerking experiences.  Without spilling any semen, I felt these strong orgasms.  She reinvented sex for me and I can not thank her enough for these amazing experiences.

Why a sissy husband

  The other day my Mistress asked me how I ended up a sissy husband.  This made me think about all the things that led to this point in our relationship.  I think it all started with me having a stressful job where I am always in charge and in control of the situation.  My escape at the end of the day or weekend was assuming a very submissive personality.  As a submissive I am no longer stressed with the responsibilities of being in charge.  It is a wonderful feeling to give up that control to another.  Avery liberating feeling of not being in charge.
  Bondage was an extension of this submission.  When I am tied up, I am completely helpless and vulnerable.  Cross-dressing soon followed.  No disrespect to strong woman everywhere, but I associated pretty lingerie with a submissive personality.  At first, my cross-dressing experiences were no more complicated than a pair of panties and matching bra.  It was Mistress who opened my eyes to much more.  She would not allow me only to dress in lingerie or slutty outfits.  If I was to dress like a woman, I needed the complete look which included shaved legs, make-up, dresses, sweaters, pants, heels, purse, jewelry and so on.  My Mistress introduced me to my first high heels shopping experience.  It was such a fun event looking for pretty shoes.  I really enjoyed dressing pretty and exploring that feminine side of me.  I still consider myself ultra-feminine with lots of pink and purple in my outfits.
  The last piece of this puzzle was anal sex.  I could not imagine anything more submissive than being on the receiving end of an anal fuck especially in a doggy style.  My Mistress was more than willing to put me in that vulnerable position with her strap-on.  She noticed how much pleasure I receive with anal sex and started our conversations about a real cock in my ass and my mouth.  My Mistress described the real differences between a real cock and a plastic cock.  So here I am, a submissive sissy husband, curious for my first bi experience, happy and loved by my Mistress.  

Week 1

  It was been 7 days and six nights that I have worn this device.  It is a symbol of my new relationship with my Wife and a constant reminder of my place in this relationship.  Every moment of every day, I am reminded that my Wife, my keyholder, is my Mistress, in control of this relationship, my actions and my behavior.  She has the keys and ownership of my sex.  She decides when and if I will ever touch it or play with it again.  She decides how I will please her and what I must do to please her.  She controls my entire body, spirit, and mind as I am her property, her bitch.  Knowing this makes me feel secure, loved and very special.  I could not be happier than to be the property and bitch of a loving and firm Mistress.  She has made my dreams come true.

  The device is not as uncomfortable as one might imagine.  Unlike the first day, I am able to control myself better and prevent myself from getting excited.  I do experience those swellings a few time a day and especially in the morning.  On those occasions, the swelling makes it very uncomfortable.  I am able to quickly steer my thoughts away from anything that had excited me and within a minute get things back under control. 

  Looking forward to this evening.  After the gym, which I desperate need to keep my body firm for my Mistress, I will be trying on a number of different outfits.  My Mistress has a box full of old but still usable clothes for me to try on.  I hope to find several outfits that will please her.  It should be a fun night.

Chastity Device

The CB-6000 came in on Tuesday this week and i was so excited to get it on me.  I knew that it would change everything in this house.  Up until now, my Wife and I would occasionally play with submission, bondage, and cross-dressing.  But it was just games.  The greatest tension was that it was difficult for my Wife for me to be bossy one moment and submissive the next.  In order for this to work, this had to be a permanent situation in our relationship.  I understood it was the necessary next step in our relationship and our lives together.

The timing could not have been better.  My Wife was going on a short trip out of town leaving Thursday and returning Saturday.  This gave me a few days to get used to the device.  The first 24 hours was the most uncomfortable.  I placed that device on me on Tuesday night and that night i had difficulty sleeping.  The device did not prevent erection, which i referred to as swelling, but it made it extremely uncomfortable.  All day Wednesday i would think about the device and get myself excited causing more swelling.  Over the next few days, i learned to control my thoughts and control the swelling.

Thursday, Friday and Saturday were very busy days.  My Wife gave me a laundry list of errands to get accomplished.  i cleaned the entire house from top to bottom, did the laundry, ordered a new bedding set, did the grocery shopping, and much more.  In the mist of all these errands, my Wife called my Friday night directing me to send her pictures of me dressed pretty.  Then she instructed me to place clamps on my nipples and fuck myself with a dildo sending her pictures throughout.  She ordered me to continue fucking myself until i felt a wave of pleasure throughout my body.  The intense feeling shook my body.  It was the culmination of wearing the device for several days and the direct stimulation of my nipples and inside me.  My Wife showed me a completely different type of orgasm i had never experienced.  She did this from hundreds of miles away without either one of us touching my dick.  i did not understand it but it was only the first of many such experiences.

Before she returned Saturday night, i did inform my Wife that there were several items on the list i failed to accomplish.  She informed me that the punishment for my disrespect would be a whipping and i would not be allowed to use my tongue to satisfy her.  The whipping was exactly what i received Saturday night.  I used my fingers to bring her to orgasm that night since i had to earn the right to use my tongue.

Sunday morning became more intense.  In order for me to earn the privilege of being able to use my tongue, i had to show my complete dedication to her while she wore her strap-on.  First i sucked and licked her strap-on showing her my skills.  Then, she had me turn around and offer her my ass.  She entered me from behind and thrusted into me until again i felt a wave of pleasure rip through my body.  It left me breathless and satisfied.  Afterwards, she removed her strap-on and allowed me to use my tongue to bring her to orgasm.

It has been a very eventful few days.  i submit completely to her, doing errands for her and ensuring she is satisfied.  i am her sissy husband.  its not a game but a way of life for us now.  i am not sure how long i must wear this device before i will be allowed to penetrate her.  It is all part of my training and i trust her completely with my body.  As much as i am looking forward to that day, i must admit the pleasures i am receiving without penetration are incredible.  i eagerly wait the next opportunity to please her.